Wanting VS Needing


I’ve been asking many questions and searching for many answers for the right path to follow. I have read countless books and searched myself, others, meditated, went into crowds and just about hugged everyone. I’ve noted the complex theory, and equations to everything. I’ve kept it simple and truthful.
But things still did not “feel” right to me. Today, it hit me. I have my answer. I’ve spent too much time asking the Universe for things that are shallow. The universe knows I am not, so it will never come to pass. I wanted to fit in and have people proud of me. See me as a go getter and a dream maker. I wanted to be like many, who strive for this amazing life surrounding them. But that is the mistake.
I am simple and humble. I do not want a fancy car. I don’t doubt that I deserve a fancy car, but for what? To just have? My car drives just fine.

I don’t want a huge house on a hill. For what? To fill it with more things? How will that all fare when I find my way into the afterlife? Big deal, it’s all transient.
I am no longer going to ask the Universe for desires and wants. Because those are false things filling your soul. It goes against our purpose of having a soul and living. WE are here to learn and grow and heal and love. Wanting is fun, but it covers up existence.
I am going to spend more of my time thanking the Universe for guiding me to what I need and for helping me grow. I need to be free of want, want, want. I need to connect with others who feel it’s time to enjoy the moment and not live for wants. Live for the fact that we are here. That we have been and always will be beautiful creations that expand IN the Universe.

Does that make me less of a human being because I’m not trying to sound like some high achiever? Does it make me less of a human being because I don’t measure my life like many in humanity do?
I’m not saying not to strive for being as amazing as a human can be. We should. But I’m feeling that I am spending too much time asking, and not just ‘being’.
I think knowing when to let go of ‘want’ is a huge thing for me as well. It’s not failure. It’s not low self-esteem. It’s freeing. I am not holding my soul back from being true. I enjoy writing poems. I do not need to be famous for it, nor do I need to be rich from it. I do however NEED to write. It’s healing, it touches others, and it connects me to those of like souls and vibrations. The rest will come if the Universe feels I NEED it. Otherwise, I am where I am supposed to be. Me!
Wanting, I’ve made some grave mistakes. I’ve asked for things that never seem to come to pass. In fact, it will go in the opposite direction. I thought perhaps I needed to get to know what I really wanted. But again, it’s ‘want’ that got in the way. I think the bravest and most freeing thing I will ever do is to let go of want. Just love, learn, reach out and feel compassion. Create and keep searching. With a humble heart and filled with joy. The rest is up to the powers that be. That is all I need.

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