First, I would like to thank Mr Mark Ty-Wharton for sharing this amazing link with me. Why are we happy
The lecture is about happiness; can it be that be can be just as happy with any given situation (even if it’s not what we intended) as we would be being in a situation we had intended and wanted.
Is this the same concept as being humble? I’m not sure. It made me ponder how much truth we talk ourselves into and out of in life. I do believe to adapt to anything we encounter in life is human nature. But the idea that we could also be happy with any given outcome, is a relief. I think most of us do this, unaware that it’s second nature. When you watch this video, it’s so easy to discount this as some neurological/subconscious mindset we can pull from. But when you REALLY hear what is going on, it makes you see how many times we have already done this.
My parallel questions to this are; how then if we adapt and synthesize being happy with a situation, draw the line from unhealthy situations. Being a drug abuser or staying in a abusive relationship. This sort of synthesizing happiness could be fatal. Because we can adapt and have the same happiness as if we were living a healthy lifestyle or loved deeply, being a drug abuser or in a violent situation does be any means mean we should. This explains why so many people cannot get help and continue to make such bad choices for themselves. We make the best of something. OR, is this more justifying a negative situation? I’m still thinking about this.
It certainly brings more relevence to cognitive therapy. How and Why it works. REBT therapy is also working on the same level as this. REBT concepts
My fear is, I believe in some spiritual truths about love and life. I believe that true love should not be something we must synthesize. In fact, I don’t want to. I want to connect on a deeper level with someone who has the same drive in this life and beautiful heart and soul. Honest and humble. I’ve been in a marriage that I had synthesized being happy, and still it fell apart. So my next question is, can doing such a thing, really keep your true self at bay? Will your truth shine through at some point and pull you into another direction?
I use to talk myself out of leaving my ex because I would find every excuse in the book. “I’ll never find anyone to REALLY see ME”
“I’ll never make it with 3 children on my own” “I should make this work because giving up is failing”.
Synthesize my marriage to someone who abused me, kept me in a very bad situation for 15 years. I had rose colored glasses by design.
When I started finding my truths, is when I was able to say enough. I am worth more then this, and I do not have to make lemon aide out of lemons anymore.
So with this new term now in my awareness, I use cation in how and why this can be of use to humanity. We need to understand when and how to apply such a thing, and to know the difference between being humble and saying to ourselves, “I can be happy no matter what”.
Oddly enough, someone I admire answerd me with a maxim that fits very well here. I am going to borrow it.
Why does a dog lick his balls? I was asked. The answer is of course, “because he can”. BUT in this case, just because “he can” (synthesize happiness) does not mean he should. *warm smiles*
Now, if I can find someone who can be just as happy thinking as much as me, the only synthesizing I’ll be doing is listening to music and playing one. 😛