Abstract Of Humanity

It’s been some time since I write a free flow of thought here; I’ve been recovering from a surgery and just needed some time to not “think” so much. Ah, but as sure as fire burns, my mind decided it was time to write and think again!

Over the last few weeks, I have had a very strong convergence happen. My spirit, heart and mind have opened to many dimensions of my existence. I’ve done some very deep meditations and connected to my higher-self. I’ve spent some time tuning into nature and the elements, my creativity and my vibrations. With this, has come once again a opening of my “sight”. This is not a choice, but a part of me I must come to terms with, that pulls me; I am always compelled to follow.

My whole life I have felt like some freak of nature, that this was a curse to have others look at me strange and push me away. Much younger, I did not turn it on, it just happened; I could “see” others light and energy. I could feel people like a moth drawn to a light. I could not help it, I would experience some in a way that made me want to be around them a lot, or just tell them they shined. Of course as a kid, these people would laugh and keep far away from me. I would never push myself on anyone, I’d just go away and leave them be. I understood they did not get what I was in awe over. They did not see themselves as I did. It was such beauty.

As a adult, it is still something I tried to bury. I stopped hugging people and looking them in the eyes. I was scared what if I see them like that and feel the pull and they freak on me? What if they laugh at me again and I scare them off? I became full of fear of people. I hated myself. Why see people like this, if no one will connect with me. What is the point of it all?  I began to over eat and literally try to “destroy” my own light to make it go away.  I for many years was able to keep it from surfacing. I was getting myself into all kids of relationships that did not help me grow and shine. I set out to be around people who put me down and seen me as a failure to keep my mind/soul tuned down very low. I began to see myself just like they did. I got hurt deeply many times, but it was ok because I would never be hurt on the level of before, when I was experiencing others in a more pure state/vibration/energy.

The last few weeks, something happened with all of my convergence that re-opend this awareness of others for me. I am having a hard time with it though, because my heart is on my sleeve now and I cannot help being drawn to some, who have this beautiful shine in their energy and life.  I sense I have made some uncomfortable or creep-ed out. That is not a good feeling to know you are looking at such beauty and they are freaked out. I understand though, because even though they shine, they might not see what I see, or experience it like I do. I wish I could hold up mirrors and show those people what their energy looks like. How when they are being creative and full of compassion that this white- blue halo pours around them and expands. That their energy feels deeply indigo like waves and peacefulness. It’s the deepest hum of existence. It tunes into the heart and almost tunes all the chakras like a 9 dimensional ray of light. I’m sure many reading this now are asking what the hell is she on? Sadly, nothing. 

This is why I am drawn to creative people, they have this affect on me. I experience their creative energy like a drop of water in a puddle. It resonates and pulls a perfect balance of everything. I no longer see their outer shell, but I see and feel this soul, that is sharing their perfect alignment of mind/soul and sending it outward for others to experience. I just wish for once, there was someone out there who would not call me freak or who would just listen to what I write in my poetry. I dunno how to help others to heal with this. Many do not understand that even if you are not “aware” of the way these creative souls can highten their vibration level just by listening to their music, looking at their art of photographs, reading their poems and stories. Even if they are not aware, they are affected. They feel drawn to it and their emotions will always come through.

So, with this blog, I am reaching out to others, maybe someone somewhere will open up and share that they too experience and understand and see all of this. I am sure I am not alone, 100% sure I am not.  With this, there is nothing more for me to lose.

Love and light to all who took time to read my blog.

Ultra Blue Violet

In this dream,

We are entwined,

Stretched across the sky,

In ultra blue violet.

There’s a violent storm,
Away in the distance,

Beyond reason,

Is an idol hour,

No one needed.
You’re,immortal

I’m inertia.
Your whispered words,

Caress me like sin.
Ineffably, you love me,

Our silhouettes swim.
There is ocean for miles,

In tormented winds.

Trace my spine,
With your lips divine,

In this moment,
We are everything.

Copyright/2004

PI

The beauty of form.
The perfect circle.
Balance, harmony, sensation,
Infused with energy, spin together.
We are infinite,
We are creation.

We search for the explanation,
Of the unexplained,
Prophecy or theory,
The soul grows weary in it’s ways.
So mankind strays from it’s purpose,
To explore,
Much deeper then the surface,
Some try to ignore.

We are part of the equation,
The universe of inspiration,
The science of vibrations,
Musical notations,
Tantric pulsations,
Reach for the infinite.
When two, becomes one.

 

Reine’

 

Fire

Blue melts to white,
She craves your eyes,
She holds your mind.
Energy of light,
Element of fire,
Bending shadows,
Outlined shapes,
Lend way to collective silence.

Tantric pulsations,
Warm vibrations,
Don’t make her your enemy.
Heat rises,
Follow it.
Understand her grasp,
Watch her dance,
She’s velvet to your eyes.

Reine

Between The Worlds

Waves of sound sooth my soul into slow motion;

I’m being pulled into another realm of existence;

I feel no resistance, as my mind races.

Lifetimes come to the surface, how I want to touch this, believe it and understand.

My energy radiates from the core,  I opened the door, love is the key.

My eyes shine with the peripheral light of being, Colors of sanctuary align my breathing and feelings.

Superimposed into form, the air is warm, flowing like fire.

Tuning into you takes us higher. We spiral and reach. Earth cannot contain this prayer,

The soul is greater then all elements that make us aware.

Where have you been? I’ve been calling;  All these years.

As I lay here at your feet,  tears flow from places buried deep;

We are creations symphony, melodic and pure, cover me in peace my love;

Let the lives we’re living merge.

There is no form, there is no words.

Divine wisdom submerged.

Time is not liner, even as we are here, we never diverge.

Synchronicity comes to us in simplicity. We are where we need to be.

Emerge with me, and change the world.

High Expectations (lyrics in progress)

I don’t know, how I appear to ya,

Do I meet, with your criteria?

When you look at your reflection, do you see what you’re expecting?

Do you feel the reality, all the things you want to be?

You know I see your truth, all the shame is showing through.

If you live with high expectations, negative sensations are your conformations,

Pick  me apart, right from the start, have you lost your heart, when it comes to humanity?

So what you’ve got the claim to fame, everyone wants you and knows your name.

But in those hours of idle thought, can you remember, what you were taught?

Never bite the hands that feed, live in love,  let go of greed.

Give in to the ego, you’ll live in the shadows, why be so shallow, then your world is an echo.

If  you live with high expectations, negative sensations are all your creations.

If you open ,your mind to the truth, we will see you shine, from the other side.

Find it in me and you’ll see it in you. Let all your expectations go, then you will know, You’ve finally arrived.