Empathic Love?

I’ve decided to be more open about who I am here in this blog, because I feel no fear anymore about my truth. Those who get it will get it without judgment, those who do not, are not meant to. That simple. So that being said, this is something I have been wondering how to explain to others. I feel now is the time to try because there ha been a lot of misunderstanding in my life as of late. I come on strong to many people or become overwhelmed in emotion sometimes (not always wanting to) when I am not really feeling it, just experiencing it. Let me explain.
I am empathic. I was born this way. It has been a blessing at times and takes a toll on my energy and heart as well. I had spent some time trying to NOT feel and it got to the point where I could not tell the difference between others and myself with strong emotions.
I also see now that I tend to become more attached and feel more for others then they do myself. I feel blessed that I can care deeply for others. I have to remind myself a lot that this is a blessing and perhaps others are not ‘feeling’ what I am. So I had to learn to step back. This is not easy for me because I see/feel/experience others as I have said before in such beauty, I forget this is human life and we cannot just ‘be’ around others we feel from all the time as we each have lives. I tend to frustrate people as well I see and that break my heart. I expect nothing from others nor do I ask for anything. I just experience people different. I have a hard time when others are caring then suddenly cold, because their actions are different then how they appear to me. This has been the hardest experience I have ever been through. My soul and heart are pulling me to them but my mind is saying back off and run you’ve overstayed your welcome.
Sometimes these empathic feelings are not easy to experience.
An example is when someone has depression. It’s like a slow motion truck coming right to me; I see it coming and yet still, I let it strike me. I tell myself, “I’ll only feel a little to have compassion and help somehow.” it never happens like that. I should know this by now. It always hits me full force. In that moment I move with it and the blessing is what ever I say to this person and try to help or send light and love to them is so honest because I am tuned with them. The hard part is letting the emotions go. It overtakes me sometimes and I dunno how to let it go. Many years I was able to go right into other things and it would go away. I’d write about the experience into poetry and it would go. I’ve written many poems from another perspective. Not to mention from other understandings, but that’s another story…
Why am I telling others this? I believe many of us have empathic connections and can understand what I am writing about.
This has become very overwhelming to me as of late because I have experienced what it’s like to feel another level of love. Sadly in this life we are not always loved back the same. When you feel that love in your own heart, but then experience the love not from the other heart, it takes all you are not to break. To separate emotional states at once is like seeing behind and ahead at once.
Let me explain, no matter how aware we become here, we are human. Yes, we need to step outside our minds and listen with soul. I know this. The mind is illusions and can distort what IS.
I try my very best not to form ideas right away, but this is not helping me much with feeling two opposing things at once. I have tried to tune it out, tried to not ‘let it in’ but somehow with the light that I feel this is the other half of it. The empathy. The light has all empathy and compassion and when you experience it within, you become full of empathy. I feel others journey, I experience their love and light. All are so beautiful, even those tuned down, they just need more life experience to heal.
Right now, I am really in love. This is from me. Does not matter why, who or how, I am. The other person does not feel the same. I seen this coming like a truck at me, and still I fell. It was the first time in this life that I experienced someone like me. Who could feel. It was utter joy in fact, like heaven and earth collided and filled me. I won’t fill this space with how I experience love for this person, there are really no words. Feeling both my love and not that type of love from the other person has been the hardest lesson yet. I have been asking my guides for understanding of this and truth. I thought I got it, I had thought I understood, but I keep letting my heart in. So, I am asking those who do read this to understand why the poetry has been ‘different’ as of late. I will not be writing anything for some time now because I feel it is not truth or honest to speak when I am unsure myself.
I know being this open might lead to my being torn apart as well, but I do not know any other way.
ME, I am filled with love, joy, life, light, compassion, music, poetry, nature, and stillness. As of right now though, I am confused and for some reason just not getting the lesson I need from this. I know I need the lesson, because it happened. I just need more time to get it.
Love and light to all from my heart, thank you for the time and I hope understanding reading my blog.

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2 thoughts on “Empathic Love?

    • Thank you for taking time to even read this entry and reply. I hope this does not sound like I am ungrateful, I am so blessed and care so much to help anyone who if in some way I could. I never turn away from anyone, ever.
      I will get the book, it looks very good. Love and light to you!

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