Limbs Gone Numb (laughing)

Ever fall asleep on your arm or your hand?
Then at 12am, it’s gone numb.
You can’t feel your palm, you can’t feel your thumb.
So you shake it and move it hoping feeling may come.
Then suddenly, urgency calls, you must use the toilet;
Lack of feeling could spoil it, but what can one do?
Improvise! Dexterity comes alive, you can do it!
So maybe you’re a lefty, maybe it’s your right,
But with one hand just working in the middle of the night;
You give your best wipe.
It’s like driving with a blind man, jumping rope with a cane;
The hand is now tingling and throbbing away.
Now the challenge arises to pull up your pants;
You shimmy and tug in some sort of dance.
You wake up the cat with a bellowing laugh.
This is what happens, when wrapped up in sleep,
Your hands under the pillow, just to get comfy.
Maybe you slept with it, under your face;
Hung off the bed, so all the blood drained.
No way of knowing till you woke from this dream,
Your hand has been eaten by a vending machine.
Now clearly you brain was trying to tell you,
But drooling and snoring this was no value.
Next time you wake up in the darkest of night,
From a dream of one leg getting caught in your bike;
Don’t jump from your bed, risk hitting your head
Cause the feeling is gone, and the foot feels dead.
Though nature is calling, you’ll have to get crawling
Or wait till the morning, when your limbs are all working!

Don’t even get me started on finding a hangnail on your big toe at 4am while sleeping with a wool blanket. AHHHHHHH makes your butt pucker!


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