Arse Pucker

What does it take, to make your buttocks pucker?
A fork on a plate, a lemon sucker?
A toenail caught on a woolen blanket, but you did not know, until you yanked it. Holy Mutha, gets ya every time.
Stubbing your toe on the corner of the table?
When your underwear ride up and start to tickle; so ya try that wiggle. Never works.
When you start eating chips and are into the dip finding your bliss.. your arse starts to buckle, cause on your knuckle is a cut you did not see, and the salt has no mercy. This is puckering seriously.
When you go to take that drink, but it’s colder than ya think, goes right to the teeth, lord have mercy, pucker like a banshee.
Then comes the brain freeze, makes the arse close permanently, yet we never learn.
Sometimes ya get that pimple, in the curve of your ear, but we have no fear, so we go to touch it. Now the arse has had it, puckered so bad, you can’t even breathe.
Then comes the tweeze… That one nose hair, that should not be there; if you do it fast, perhaps you won’t care?
So ya take a deep breath and curl up your lips, ya got a good grip and then you just tair… Your poor ass cannot bear anymore. The tears well up like a storm, this pucker’s like never before. You might not fart anymore.
How does the arse get affected, are the nerves in the butt so perfected, that noise and scent get detected?
Ever have a sympathy pucker; someone falls on their balls and wonder… will they ever have kids? Cause even YOU felt it.
So the next time you go to get fries, have and itch and rub salt in your eyes, remember to hold your cheeks tight, hurts more when ya put up a fight, the pucker will only subside, when burn is gone from the mind. So next time ya drink some prune juice, know you’re arse is counting on you.

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