Closer

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You whisper your story;
With dreaming breath.
To touch my soul;
Beside my bed.

A subtle trace – forms a silhouette;
Your echo blends with every footstep.
A smile shifts in vivid intent,
The evening moves with your quiet secrets;
The room is filled with melodic scents;
I surrender to the essence.

You whisper your story;
I catch my breath,
You touch my soul;
Beside my bed.
Is it in my heart – is it from my head;
I’m calling you closer to my bed.

The eyes in sunlight
Form an ideal;
Do we let them decide for us,
What is real?
In the darkness – what is guarded falls,
Inhibitions seep, beyond the walls.

You whisper your desire,
Beneath your breath,
You touch my soul,
Beside my bed,
Can you tame this heart – can you calm this head?
I’m calling you closer to my bed.

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Trusting The Forgiveness Of Pain

I’ve not blogged on my thoughts in some time, been very inspired to write poems as of late. But today I have had something come to the surface I feel poetry would not do justice. I’m deeply grateful for this understanding today, as it has been slowly coming into my awareness.

Many times in life, we come to a place where we find ourselves hurting; many believe it’s a choice. It is. But why would we chose such a thing? Is pain productive? Does it mean we punish ourselves? No, we are not punishing ourselves. There is a saying that goes, “there is a fine live between love and hate.” A bit extreme, but it does have meaning.

When you think of the extent we love someone, a friend, a sister, a lover, you can also remember times when they have hurt you deeply. For we must love deeply and unarmed to be hurt the same. But I ask of you to think of how this could help your soul, and perhaps it will also help you to learn and see how forgiving can come to you with an open heart and compassion.

Before we came to this existence, we chose certain experiences we needed to heal from. To heal karma and learn to grow. We never stop expanding, because we are light. Light never ends. When we chose to come here, we also chose other souls we love and trust beyond words to help us learn these lessons. They too understood their lesson fit perfectly with ours.

Think of this, who is one person in your life right now, that you trust with your life? Someone you know that would make choices for you that would help you the most if you could not for yourself? Now, think of trusting this person to tell you they had to leave a bit from town, but asked you to please believe them that not telling you why was best. could you trust them? I think you would.

This is the same of those who hurt us deeply in this life. before we came here, they loved us and we loved them with love one cannot imagine in earthly terms. We trusted them that in this love they would be the person to teach us such a lesson as pain and suffering from another we love hurting us.

This soul who we made a pact with, is being selfless by taking on karma for us to heal. Yes, it sounds hard to understand and maybe hard to swallow, but please bear with me.

Imagine yourself looking into the eyes of your loved one and they ask you to please help them, they have their legs trapped under a car. If they do not get out they will die. The only way is to cut off their legs. (This is graphic and I apologize, but it needs to be to give the power of what I am saying.) Both of you know it will hurt beyond words, but after the pain is over, the life will be saved. The will of life is stronger and the selfless act you are going to do by cutting them free, knowing you are hurting them so, is but a grace from the light. You take a deep breath and set aside their screams and set them free. The person might not know what it took in this lifetime for you to love them that much you would do that to for them.

This is the same for those who hurt us deeply and move out of our lives or have made a mistake that made us suffer inside. This is why forgiveness is so important for both souls. We need to remember that this life is just a small fraction of who we are and we understand small bits of why we are here. In the long run, like with the car and legs, we must understand that the pain is for healing and the love we will find again when we leave this life in the soul who shared our pain with us. Do not hold onto the pain, do not hold onto the anger and suffering. Forgive and know that though you might not understand fully why you needed the lesson of pain from this person, that if you make the right choices with the experience and KNOW, this is a healing chance to grow, you will both shine and go back to the source of that profound trusting love before you came here.

This is the beauty of humanity, that we can really find the understanding, if we learn to view life from a perfect circle and see all the way around.

Love and light to all!

Change

How would you make a change, if you knew why you were here?

Once; just a idea – you’re now experience, you are the essence of being!

What if your life, was created as a lesson; not for selfish purpose – but to expand consciousness.

To deeply feel, How would you deal with it?

What if you started to remember the lives before; how you’ve already evolved – would you close the door?

Would you search for more?

How would you use your wisdom;  if you expanded your soul, would you see it as a whole – would your ego let go?

Can you expand your vision; see others a prism -we are not so different.

Some are not awake; but what would it take, to grow from each mistake?

We must heal the soul.

Listen to the voice; the music of your breath, vibrations and sensations – tune your mind to it.

Free your chains of karma, focus on your chakras.

The universe is listening; the eyes of truth upon us.

Love is the key to unity; it’s why we are and always will be…

Live without fear, believe in your dreams, reach out to others, because life IS change.

Nothing stays the same, work through your pain.

See all of the angles to master your fate.

Let your world dilate.

bring nature in, cause we are in everything. Can you understand – we never end.

The choices begin with YOU…

Look in my eyes, see your reflection; take hold of my hand, hope is perfection.

Come and run, under the sun – sing and create, lets open the gates for others to shine!

This is the time, make it the time, this is the LIFE we will soar.

Use Your Gift Wise

Gift, talent, expression. No matter how you say it, it all stems from creation. A  emotion and thought merging and compelling one to create something from it to share with others. To try to define where it comes from has been in theory from many over the years. Can we define such a thing? What is ones motivation behind it can change through the course of creating something. I believe no matter what, the very first instant someone creates anything; the intention is always pure. In that moment a idea forms and a feeling is put into it, the soul is vibrating and shining at such a strong rate. It wants to expand and send that to other souls to experience. It is the natural flow with everything. Think of life in it’s self! When a child in born from love, joy spills from the parents and they want to tell everyone. It’s the first breath of life that infuses the moment. Creation at it’s true purpose; to make life thrive. Birth shares that with everyone on earth, even if you are not aware of that child born. It’s a ray of light that raises the earth a little bit higher in that exact moment. All is as it should be. Perfection in the moment, of conception and birth.

Some might say what if the child was conceived not out of love? What if the child is not wanted? That does not take away the creation of life and what it really is. This is something that remains with us from the universe when we use our “gifts”.

Strange you might say, that I am comparing life and birth to creating music or a painting, a poem or sculpture. But it is not the form of creation, but the fact that the moments are the same in the Universe. The Universe does not define creation from action, but energy and vibrations.

Is it possible one at the very moment of writing and singing a song, could be as elated as a child born? YES! Love and passions know no bounds.

Try to step outside time and the one dimensional perception of how that sounds and see, that we are ALL creations of the universe, we are all in motion from the universe. Simple physics tells us once in motion, something tends to stay in motion, unless stopped by force. As is with creation. It is a natural flow for us, yet so many never tap into this or use it for such selfish reasons. This is what I want to blog about.

What is the reason our souls resonate from music, art, dance? I believe it is one of the sacred times (not in a religious way) that our souls are pure and can reach ourselves on many levels of being. When a artist puts the paintbrush into a color, when his minds eye has a vision on the canvas, he is in another form of reality. His soul is showing him what can be, from mere thought and feeling. So the artist take color and forms shapes and with each stroke there is passions and deep feelings moving with him and through him, right onto the canvas. The soul shines like  nothing else, it is peaceful even if restless with creation!

This is not only art, but the beauty of manifestation. This is how we shape our true lives. I wish more could understand this.

Once you open the channels to creativity within you, it will never go away. Perhaps one puts it on hold because they feel they have no time for it, but it is burned into the soul. If you do not use this, you are only dampening the beauty of your being here and your soul. Work and bills are not life, it’s what takes over emotional beings. It is what people put emotions into, yet the rewards of this is transient and mostly stressful. Strange we are so much more, but we feel focusing on money and material things is a measure of life. If many only knew… Ah but I regress.

I have come to meet a few very creative souls who have reminded me what a gift it is to recognize your soul and what we are here for and they put this understanding into their creativity.

Nothing could be more beautiful and powerful then sharing your insight through music, or words, art or dance. It reaches others on many levels as I said, and it opens the soul to things that it is not always directly aware of.

I’d like to take some time to talk about a 2 musicians who have brought all of this to the surface for me and made me really see truth in what music should be. Yes, we need to dance and we need to enjoy ourselves. Not always must the messages be intense, but the intentions should always be. If you only make music for money, and fame you are sadly missing out on the resonating and shine you can create around you and bring out from others. It’s a lesson I feel, too many will not learn in this lifetime. So deeply sad I feel for them.

So that being said, on to my inspirations!

I first have to say, I cannot tell you how deeply both of the amazingly gifted musicians have brought out such truth and understanding for me. It’s been such a  surreal few months of my life. I have found both of these men to have this magical and awe-inspiring soul and insight that they entwine through their music. Not only do they both have the ability to play instruments and create sound that is pure indigo light for the soul, but they both infuse the music with such profound wisdom that they shine like the sun to me.

First, I would like to thank deeply Enigma; for Michael Cretu has called from the eyes of truth, to create music that is not only sacred to me, but pulls this beauty from my soul when I listen. A true gift used wise, is one that brings what the creator is resonating with, from the listener. Enigma does this in everything he/they do. His multi layered sounds and voice is compelling. The words are like a scroll of the sages, you cannot listen to this music and not feel your senses awaken and your being resonate. He understands why we are here and has used his creativity to help others on their journey to awaken. A true master of his craft, I have been inspired to search out my truth and write from listening to Enigma. There is so much I would like to find words to say about it, but to go listen is the only real way to understand what I mean.

http://www.myspace.com/enigmaplanet

 

The second man who has opened not only my mind but my heart and soul, is Sean T Wright. I found Sean through the amazingly insightful soul Mark Ty Wharton. Mark asked Sean to do a blog in a blog guest week a bit back. I had not at this time heard any of Sean’s music. I read his blog he write for Mark’s guest week and was moved deeply. This man, has the kiss of beauty and expansion of the soul that many will not experience in this lifetime. He has had a NDE (near death experience) and he shines like no one I have ever met. Now I have not meant Sean in person, but through his music I have  felt this light and vibration that is beyond simple words. After reading his blog I went right to his site and listened to his work. It gets more incredible! This man has hundreds of songs recorded. I was dumbfounded.  Hundreds of songs I thought, but are they good? I was humbled beyond expression. Sean’s creative abilities are far beyond simple perception. Sean not only understands what music is, but he IS music. He has not just understanding, but experience on why we are here and what we truly can be. He has the most beautiful open heart and it flows through his songs and lyrics without bounds. Sean uses the guitar like a extension of his being. The chords he creates and sings around are always intense to hear. The other incredible thing is, he writes all the music, lyrics and plays all the instruments AND records himself! He understands the process of creativity in every step he takes to share his music. He gives it away, for download. The intent is pure, we do not find many such as this in our lifetimes. I am grateful I have. Sean has a unique style that is so eclectic. Another amazing trait that we can all learn from. He has guitar driven music and acoustic music, he has a whole cd you can meditate to and electric pop that makes you want to dance. The thing that makes Sean so beautiful is, no matter what he is creating with his sound, his words have purpose and truth. It has brought me to feel pure energy to my heart opening and feeling nothing but compassion and love. This is what using your gift wise is all about.

Again, I could go on and on about this man, but I rather at this time share his website and you can experience this creative soul for yourself.

http://www.seantwright.com/

I have had the deep honor of Sean using a few of my poems to his music, and he was the very first person to ever show me and believe in my words enough to do something like this with music. I cannot be more humbled or grateful for his kindness.

Thank you if you have taken time to read this very long blog today. I know you will enjoy the music and be as inspired as I have!

Create, explore, share your soul and let it shine with all you do xoxoxo Much love and light!

My Learning Journey

Most of the time, life is amazing and filled with wonder and joy. Twists and turns can be unexpected and intense but exciting and I am grateful for my life.

Why am I here I ask myself? It’s “THE” question. If you come to this earth, you ask yourself this. I have talked about this in another blog a bit and have done some expanding inside since and wanted to go back to this topic. Though I must admit, thinking too much is the worst trap a soul can get into; we need to LIVE to truly be living our meaning here. We can read, watch films, listen to music, go to seminars and so on – does not equal experience.

I have been devoting both living and exploring my soul now for some time to knowing what I need to get from this life and heal so I can be more complete, maybe chose another way of existence next time.  I have come to understand that all the advice and “mentoring” people try to help you with cannot help you know what your meaning is here.  I have had some mind blowing beautiful souls help me with so much on my journey so far; for that I am deeply grateful. That is part of why we are hear, to help each other along this journey.

A theme in my life that keeps coming up is love and finding my “soul-mate” . I have come to grow tired though of the many people who keep trying to change my view on this. To them I say, NAY! I will not, so give up. I do not think; I KNOW this is a huge part of why I am here.

I have come to that time in the eons, that I am aware now, I have peace in my soul and all the love around me from friends and family and for myself and my God that is is nothing but radiating. I am love and give love, without bounds. I have forgiven those who have hurt me and open my heart to anyone who needs love. even if it is never returned in any way. I know all of us here on this earth have a choice to love like that, but some are not there yet. It takes time, lifetimes, but they will be eventually.

I also am aware that many feel finding a soul-mate is not a purpose, but again I say yes it is. It’s part of a evolution of our higher selves. If you believe reincarnation you understand that there comes a point when you do live your last life here. Your soul has taken many lifetimes and become more whole in learning from many many trials. I believe you just know when you have got to the point where what ever you are still learning in this life, is progress in action and your true theme pours through. For me, it is true love. My other half.

When you get to the point in this life, when you are happy and want to share that, when you know that value such love and know that that type of love can make both souls shine stronger and can touch even more lives together; then you understand. It’s not finding that love for selfish reasons, but because you know that within that love, much more love will pour through everything you continue to do in this lifetime and all the other lives you explore.

I have been thinking, perhaps though, in this lifetime, what if I have met my soul-mate, but because we are on journeys and are entwined in other lives, we cannot be together. What if my lesson is to learn letting go of my soul-mate, because they are not here to find me in this life, but grow from other things and have their earthly love that is here to help them grow. I do believe that we have those in our lives that we love and marry and have children with and so on, but they are not the true soul-mate.  How so? We all have themes we are to learn from and heal in some way and we make that pact with others before we get here to help each other learn these lessons. So perhaps a only a certain type of soul can help in this journey by being mated with them in this lifetime. Soul-mates that are true in the hereafter are not formed with jealousy and understand this. We know that we will be together again at some point, but maybe not this certain life.

This is part of the universal connection to everything. There is really no separating, that is a illusion. But to a extent many need that illusion in place till they learn other things first and can understand without wrecking their minds how it works. But I regress…

I believe you know when you’ve met your true soul-mate. You start to remember lifetimes you had been together and you feel that same vibration and space of time together. It’s enough to take your breath away. at the same time, it’s humbling to know in that moment, that everything you come to understand is truth. It’s a strong surge of wholeness inside. It makes you want to strive on and even tunes you a bit higher I have sensed. Creativity pours like a stream much stronger and you have the tranquility of the ocean. Just to know they are in this big world, maybe not along side you, but making their journey and soul heal as you are and that maybe if God permits, at some point you will be close again and smile into each others souls.  With that I am deeply humbled.

Starving Artist

Here I sit,
On a park bench.
In the city of circumstance,
Feeding pigeons of poverty,
Dreaming, of a soft cover harlequin romance.
Watching the passers by,
Making up stories for their lives.
I laugh to myself,
As I wonder, how I seem to someone else.
A month ago today,
I took a train to a better life,
And I worked to survive.
Music, taking a space on the back shelf of my mind.
Scraps of paper fill my pockets,
Ideas in rhyme.
They’re scattered, but they’re mine.
I look at some faces here,
And you can see the years,
What did they leave behind,
To feast in the city of lights?
Their eyes say they tried,
A cup of coffee, tells a story here.
It’s a night out.
It feeds my imagination.
Here on my park bench,
I can still smile,
Because the vibes are strong yet,
And I’ve just arrived.
 
Reine’

Live In The Sun (your perfect truth)

Deep golden warmth, surrounding your dream of life;

The solar star of fire and birth, whispers truth.

Under the guide of light you thrive, but do not live a lie.

For the heavens know, your secrets flow from the waves of energy.

You seek to be free, but can you not see? The illumination of everything you ought to be, is buried deep.

Let the rivers of eternity seep into your being. Why are you so afraid? A thought is all it takes, to make it so.

Years will pass, and the soul holds on to the glow. You’ve always known, but fear had a hold.

Do not waste this life, such a gift of time, each moment you could own.

Travel your path, but love is like sand –  it slips through the hands,

Though it never ends.

Many come to be for us, as we chose before we came, to experience love in many forms,

Never felt in vain.

But created in perfection, ideal in our reflection, is the twin of flames.

The vibrations are the same. The pull is truth, life stands still.

Nature bows and the universe sings, when these human beings meet.

The light of creation begins to pulsate,  the solar warmth then resonates.

In this space, water becomes air, and the galaxy pours down.

This love is the musical axis to the mystery of everything.

 

 

For all those who do not believe in love, these words I write are what I believe. So many have this fear, that they settle for less. We are not created to just exist. We have purpose, so does true love. If you spend your gift of life, with guilt and duty to another, or you feel that true love is work, ’tis not so. Love is not work; life and healing your karma is. The greatest work is from within. True love helps you soar, it creates a beautiful light that always opens doors. True love goes beyond give and take. It inspires and makes you fly. Many do not understand, that love is not just something you feel over time, love is how you came here, how you stay here, who you are. Live your perfect truth, and believe, never give up.

Polarity Of Truth

What bitter pill did you swallow?
What makes a heart so hollow?
What did you hope to achieve?
Is this how you want to live?

Not all people are the same.
Direct the words, where the angers to blame.
You’re only destroying yourself,
Loathing will just pin you down.
There will always be fear before trust,
But, to live in your past and disgust,
Is imprisoning your soul.

We were all meant to grow.
Learn from mistakes as a whole.
This is the reality of life,
We hear, not always what we like.
But you have to understand,
And respect every gentile hand,
That reaches out.

Harmony, is what it’s all about.
You can disagree with me,
Yet, exist peacefully in the same space.
Pride, can only save face for awhile.
So open up your mind and smile,
Understand another view,
And remember,
The polarity of truth.

Abstract Of Humanity

It’s been some time since I write a free flow of thought here; I’ve been recovering from a surgery and just needed some time to not “think” so much. Ah, but as sure as fire burns, my mind decided it was time to write and think again!

Over the last few weeks, I have had a very strong convergence happen. My spirit, heart and mind have opened to many dimensions of my existence. I’ve done some very deep meditations and connected to my higher-self. I’ve spent some time tuning into nature and the elements, my creativity and my vibrations. With this, has come once again a opening of my “sight”. This is not a choice, but a part of me I must come to terms with, that pulls me; I am always compelled to follow.

My whole life I have felt like some freak of nature, that this was a curse to have others look at me strange and push me away. Much younger, I did not turn it on, it just happened; I could “see” others light and energy. I could feel people like a moth drawn to a light. I could not help it, I would experience some in a way that made me want to be around them a lot, or just tell them they shined. Of course as a kid, these people would laugh and keep far away from me. I would never push myself on anyone, I’d just go away and leave them be. I understood they did not get what I was in awe over. They did not see themselves as I did. It was such beauty.

As a adult, it is still something I tried to bury. I stopped hugging people and looking them in the eyes. I was scared what if I see them like that and feel the pull and they freak on me? What if they laugh at me again and I scare them off? I became full of fear of people. I hated myself. Why see people like this, if no one will connect with me. What is the point of it all?  I began to over eat and literally try to “destroy” my own light to make it go away.  I for many years was able to keep it from surfacing. I was getting myself into all kids of relationships that did not help me grow and shine. I set out to be around people who put me down and seen me as a failure to keep my mind/soul tuned down very low. I began to see myself just like they did. I got hurt deeply many times, but it was ok because I would never be hurt on the level of before, when I was experiencing others in a more pure state/vibration/energy.

The last few weeks, something happened with all of my convergence that re-opend this awareness of others for me. I am having a hard time with it though, because my heart is on my sleeve now and I cannot help being drawn to some, who have this beautiful shine in their energy and life.  I sense I have made some uncomfortable or creep-ed out. That is not a good feeling to know you are looking at such beauty and they are freaked out. I understand though, because even though they shine, they might not see what I see, or experience it like I do. I wish I could hold up mirrors and show those people what their energy looks like. How when they are being creative and full of compassion that this white- blue halo pours around them and expands. That their energy feels deeply indigo like waves and peacefulness. It’s the deepest hum of existence. It tunes into the heart and almost tunes all the chakras like a 9 dimensional ray of light. I’m sure many reading this now are asking what the hell is she on? Sadly, nothing. 

This is why I am drawn to creative people, they have this affect on me. I experience their creative energy like a drop of water in a puddle. It resonates and pulls a perfect balance of everything. I no longer see their outer shell, but I see and feel this soul, that is sharing their perfect alignment of mind/soul and sending it outward for others to experience. I just wish for once, there was someone out there who would not call me freak or who would just listen to what I write in my poetry. I dunno how to help others to heal with this. Many do not understand that even if you are not “aware” of the way these creative souls can highten their vibration level just by listening to their music, looking at their art of photographs, reading their poems and stories. Even if they are not aware, they are affected. They feel drawn to it and their emotions will always come through.

So, with this blog, I am reaching out to others, maybe someone somewhere will open up and share that they too experience and understand and see all of this. I am sure I am not alone, 100% sure I am not.  With this, there is nothing more for me to lose.

Love and light to all who took time to read my blog.

PI

The beauty of form.
The perfect circle.
Balance, harmony, sensation,
Infused with energy, spin together.
We are infinite,
We are creation.

We search for the explanation,
Of the unexplained,
Prophecy or theory,
The soul grows weary in it’s ways.
So mankind strays from it’s purpose,
To explore,
Much deeper then the surface,
Some try to ignore.

We are part of the equation,
The universe of inspiration,
The science of vibrations,
Musical notations,
Tantric pulsations,
Reach for the infinite.
When two, becomes one.

 

Reine’

 

Between The Worlds

Waves of sound sooth my soul into slow motion;

I’m being pulled into another realm of existence;

I feel no resistance, as my mind races.

Lifetimes come to the surface, how I want to touch this, believe it and understand.

My energy radiates from the core,  I opened the door, love is the key.

My eyes shine with the peripheral light of being, Colors of sanctuary align my breathing and feelings.

Superimposed into form, the air is warm, flowing like fire.

Tuning into you takes us higher. We spiral and reach. Earth cannot contain this prayer,

The soul is greater then all elements that make us aware.

Where have you been? I’ve been calling;  All these years.

As I lay here at your feet,  tears flow from places buried deep;

We are creations symphony, melodic and pure, cover me in peace my love;

Let the lives we’re living merge.

There is no form, there is no words.

Divine wisdom submerged.

Time is not liner, even as we are here, we never diverge.

Synchronicity comes to us in simplicity. We are where we need to be.

Emerge with me, and change the world.

Blank; Mind In Rest Mode?

Have you ever had someone ask you how you are feeling, and you were not really focused on it at that moment. Then you find yourself trying to find the right words to describe the “mood” you are in? Not unhappy at all, not feeling blissfully beaming either. Not much on your mind and if pushed you could almost say tranquil. I’ve used the word blank a few times now, but people seem to take that as a negative state to be in. Perhaps it’s due to the fact many say they feel blank or “numb” when they have been tossed into a very emotional state and have had enough of it. So they go “numb” so to speak. What exactly happens when we go numb? Does the mind really cut us off from emotions? Do we sit in a limbo state of not progressing or dealing with life? I chose to believe not.

I do agree sometimes after a emotional high of any sort – good or bad, we tend to need downtime to just ‘be’. I also believe sometimes this blank time we have is usually before a huge brainstorm is coming or intense lesson about to be brought into our awareness and the mind will need all the strength it can muster to grasp/use the moments and awareness with power.

But blank is like darkness, it’s nothing bad, just ‘without’ light. A blank canvas has so many possibilities. I believe this to also be a re-start button of sorts to the soul. It’s in sleep mode taking everything in we just went through so it can make the right choices when the awakening hits. We spend time recharging our souls with many things. We meditate and we use positive projection to help others. We nurture our bodies and surround our souls with love. even though these are the most beautiful states to be in, we still need stillness for the soul. Even love in it’s purest form is still moving the soul. To be still and blank, is to not have intent or purpose in those hours/moments. To let the universe fully guide you OUT of the state is the most profound trust and truth one can experience. Why? Because the universe will fill the ‘blank’ with just what you really need. Hence the fact that the profound awakening or motivation will come after being blank for a bit. I believe it’s the souls way of showing us we are more then thoughts and actions, we are indeed part of everything and exist without mindful intent. What a amazing thing to understand that being blank can transform you and open the purest channels to your high self when the soul and the universe align. You do not even have to believe, it’s just so.

The thing this challenges for me is, action-reaction.  Is it really so then that we must put forth into the universe something we want to get it always? Is it possible that we can just be ‘blank’ and the universe will guide us to what we need rather then want? Are you strong enough to trust?

I challenge you to believe in the universe and yourself enough to just let yourself be blank sometimes. Let your mind stop racing with worries and thoughts and actions, and just exist. write down the very first few emotions you feel after the blank period and what you noticed brought you right out of it. Those first few moments might not seem profound to you right away, but after a few days, you will see how it was perfectly guiding you to something greater.  Are you ready to open your mind?

Atomic Love Notes

 

Your current is rising, high above my head

The shock is mesmerizing,

Throws me to a void.

 

Enkephalin drowns me,

Astounding that you found me,

But you would not stop the voltage,

Racing through my veins.

 

Adrenaline, descending

Supernova, impending.

This frequency you’re sending,

Leaves me barely standing.

 

Select, reflect

At last, connect

But I cannot emulate,

What’s not evolved?

 

Equation solved, pattern dissolved.

The rings around your eyes are gone.

WE stand still, we race time,

You could not let the moment lie.

Intellect, dissect

Atomic, neglect

This is how I blew your mind.

 

 

 

Reine’

The Equation Of Limbo?

Science has said that there are probable outcomes for situations. There is a can of what might be cookies on the counter. We are not sure if there are any left. Science says either there is or there is not cookies. It’s obvious to us that would be the choices. But if you have read about a certain type of theory in physics, you would also understand the “cookies” are in a sort of limbo state. To bring the cookies into reality, we first have to prove the idea wrong (that there might be none) by looking in the tin, that there are in factcookies in there. Otherwise, neither are really right. We must observe the cookies and see them to know they are there. This lead me to wonder of course, if when we manifest something, we are always manifesting both outcomes at once of what we are asking for. Example. We are using positive thought to manifest into out lives a new house. We have made room in our lives for this to pass, written it on paper and made a inspiration board of how we are going to decorate our home. But, like the cookies, it is in limbo. We have put the positive vibe for it, but there must be another probability to this. That in fact, we might not get the house. It’s as simple as the fact, every action gets a equal or opposite reaction. Will thinking negative cause it to sway one way or another? Does pure will and belief sway the cookies or house in any way? This is a big question. I believe it does.

Why does positive belief and unconditional, without a doubt knowing the house is yours bring this to you? Simple. I said it before, every action brings back a equal or opposite reaction. If you deal with the fact you might not get the house and get it out of your mind. You are taking away the other probability that science says we need. If you then focus on the reality for you, that it is yours, you are now taking awaythe limbo and the positive energy you are sending out, can only come back positive. The house is yours. Yes, old hat you might be thinking, we’ve heard this time and again. I am not here to state any sort of mind blowing revelations. I am blogging about what I am pondering. So, try to understand that. Like my blog on past life regression, some believe that there are actually two realities happening at the same time. The house becomes yours, and  other were the house does not. Both are happening in the same moment but both realities never meet. I suppose this is based on the energy expelled from thought. We have both negative and positive thought by design. We can reprogram ourselves to think more positive. Even the earth has both negative and positive energies. Now, the next thought is, can this theory apply to energy being negative?

Example; you want the house. You are having both feelings of positive and negative thoughts on getting it. Is the energy of both thoughts like the cookies? Are they both in limbo until you give one reality by observing it and cancels the other out? If you give positive thought observation and reality, can we then take away negative thought? Not just for one manifestation, but to do it all at once for everything in our lives? Do we need negative thought for some sort of balance? Does negative thought remind us to be grateful of the positive? Without one, can we recognize and understand the other? why do people want to always be positive, when everything in nature around us has both? I don’t know the answers to this, but it’s been on my mind for some time now. Do I think too much? Perhaps, but the mind is a beautiful thing. We hold the key to the universe. Why not unlock the doors…

Can You Change The Souls Path?

I am going to talk about Soul Archetypes. Your archetype tells a lot about who you were, who you currently are, and your soul destiny.  This of course is what we are to have decided before we were born, to learn from and heal from as our life themes. We spend a lot of time trying to change our so called “destiny” to suit our wants and desires. We want to send out into the universe these powerful wants and draw things to us. Of course this can be done. There really is no major mind blowing code to decipher to know like attracts like and you get what you give. But what becomes hard for many is understanding that, we do have a purpose here. We are not just here to gain and live in abundance. That is a small part of life. The universe does not have to “think” about anything. We do all that. It just keeps us. like a mother does her children. Our souls are what makes us who we are. We have a plan. We do not come into this life knowing what that is. It would take away the journey of being here. We have to figure this all out. Some have become awakened and can seek this understanding of their journey. Some remain blinded because they would rather not believe we planned this all out before we got here. That’s fine. You do not have to be aware, you’ll follow your life path no matter what. If you stray, you’ll know that as well. The amazing thing about tuning into the path is, you will see each step and suddenly understand how everything ties in. Why are you going through such challenges? Why am I so lost right now? How could this happen to me? Yes, we have control over many things. Free will is real. But nothing will ever change your purpose. You can change how you get there, but cannot change why you need to BE there.

Ever have something repeat over and over in your life, and you have no idea why the same things keep happening? it’s your soul telling you something. It won’t go away till you sort it out. Now this might sound contriversail and piss some off, but I believe this to be truth. Do we deserve to be ill seriously in life? No. It’s a awful thing. But that soul is experiencing this, perhaps chose to heal something that only this sort of experience can teach them. I’m not saying that we cannot heal our bodies and that certain illnesses are not from environment. But the reason why you experience is the soul is growing. This is why to judge another persons downfall in your eyes or actions/reactions/illnesses is not seeing the big picture. You do not know what the persons soul chose to learn from this. Could be reverence, could be empathy, could be love. The old saying is, “you don’t know, unless you are in that persons shoes.” Well, the soul does this. It come into this  life as a human being to feel. To heal and experience things from many angles. Perhaps in one life, a person had been without empathy, they had watched others become ill and did nothing. In this life, they asked to learn from the past and they now have become ill. We would not know this unless we open up to find your souls path.

Does this mean those who are suffering have done bad in a past life. No, it does not. Suffering is not about being punished. It’s about feeling. When you think of someone like Hitler, who has done such cruel things, you want to believe he will suffer and that no one deserved his treatment. No, in humanity, we do not and should not experience such things ever again. But his actions taught many people, many deep lessons that will never be repeated.

Think about this, had the law of attraction been something everyone was trying to do during those times, someone like Hitler has access to it, do you think the Universe would have allowed him to do such things? Yes. it would have. The LOA has been forever. It’s just the right time for more people to have awakened to the understanding of it. The souls have awakened to it. But this is not something people can use to change their soul path. Just how you get there. How you experience the journey. You can have a amazing journey of many things you are happy with, or you can chose a very difficult path, like Hitler and your circle will still come full, but you will not understand why you lived.

If you can understand what I am saying, you can even find comfort in knowing, that you have thought your soul to be this amazing and worth the challenges you gave yourself. The more you overcome, the greater you shine and the higher your vibrations become. Now those souls who have a easy life, might have already experienced things in another life, and do not have to have huge challenges. We cannot judge.

If you want a few keys as to know why you are here and what your soul type is, you have to do some honest looking into yourself. By this I mean, you must admit or be open to see things as what they are, and not how bad it might seem or how good.

Example, say you keep meeting the same type of person over and over. You get to know them, and who ever you meet always seems to drain you. You have at least 5 people in your life right now, that always complain and are never happy. Perhaps it’s not THEM, it’s you. Now the LOA says you attracted these people. Yes, you have! But why? The soul needs you to learn something. Remember, Like attracts like.  You might be thinking, Fuck you, I am not in misery. No, perhaps you are not, but your soul might need to experience empathy. Your mind fails to believe this, but your soul knows it’s stuff. What we send out is not always from our mindful desires. Like, I want that job! I want that book to sell! I want to make money! Yes, yes, you can have that. But your soul is also sending out to the universe for help in learning certain requests. You just are not always aware of this. So you can either avoid these sorrowed souls, or you can start to look into different ways of dealing with them. Slowly, you will notice, things will shift. You are learning and opening up to a lesson you needed. These people might not leave, but your view of them will drastically change. You will also see something in yourself change.

Next time you see something repeat in your life, ask the universe what it is you must learn from this. Then, be open to the answers. Perhaps it’s not a lesson you feel you need, but the soul knows better then the mind. The universe will listen to your soul before your ego!

I’ve got much more thoughts on this, but my mind is doing a few things right now. more blog to come…

Comfort Zones

I’ve been thinking about this a lot. How in life, we all have this certain place we call a comfort zone. Be it your job, your home, your love life; we never question it, and stay in it because it’s comforting. How does this happen to us? As children, we are the fire of adventure. The innocence makes us dare to dream and push limits. Something happens in life, where things do not go as we planned, and instead of not giving up, we find this comfort zone. It’s a double edged sword. We all need a safe place to go to when life is harsh. We spend our lives looking for this. We have it down to a science. But we slow down our growth as souls. I’m not saying one needs to jump from a plane to step outside a comfort zone; but for some that might be what it takes. look at how people stay with each other in relationships, who are not really matched well, but think they will be alone. Or they think they fear hurting a bit, maybe they have material things they don’t want to lose by moving on.  People grow and change, and who someone might have been (right for you at the time) they could have grown over time.  Maybe the job has become a drone. You are not challenged and it’s a easy drive and you’ve been there so long, why leave? Comfort zone.

Yet, when someone steps out of that zone a bit, and feels the amazing feeling when they start to challenge themselves a bit, and start to feel again, they notice right away what they had been missing out on. I have known a few people, who have routines-they never stray from them. they wake up the same time, shower the same time, drive the same way to work. Their tag lines are, “if it ain’t broke, why fix it?”

These same people, I talk to, are always depressed and trying to fill voids with other things. Over eating, drinking, drugs and sitting in front of the TV for hours on end. Yes, I know, what ever makes you happy, who am I to judge?  I’m not. I’m not anyone to judge. But I’ve been there. I lived in a comfort zone, in hindsight, it was not really that comforting. I just was afraid that I’d go from a frying pan, into the fire. It’s fear. It holds you back.

People let love slip by each day, because either they are afraid of getting hurt, are with someone they are in a routine with and have that comfort zone (they are not really connected, share few passions and do not inspire each other at all) Or they have shallow ideals. Even the shallow ideals is a comfort zone. They “have not found that person yet” so better to be alone then step outside the comfort zone and date someone different then the perfect ideal.

The soul cannot help but change. Evolution is everywhere. You cannot stop time. Even if we do not make the physical changes, if it’s in your mind and heart, you already made the biggest change/step. You’ve altered your thinking and feeling. All that is left from that, is actions.

If you sit at your desk, dreaming of owning your own business, but have not made that move. You are still in the process of change. The comfort zone is the talking yourself out of it.

If you are married, but you find yourself falling for someone else, just thinking of someone else as a love is telling you something. Your heart is moving on. Why live like that? Why not take action and work towards your own business or new love?

Yes, yes, true blue. Yes, loyal to your boss and your husband/wife. Of course. But what if your boss or spouse knew you were not there 100%? Does that not hold them back as well from having someone to work for them or love them, the way they need? Comfort zones can hold you back.

Look at those who soar. Those who you admire you push limits and shine. They are in active evolution. They are humble and understand life changes. Sometimes they make the changes. When someone is exploring and opening up to understand their callings in life, they begin to see the most amazing things happening around them. They begin to “tune in” on things. It’s our OK from the universe telling us we are on the right path. You will get signs all around you if you open up your mind and accept them as just that. Maybe a house you wanted to buy, has a porch swing you dreamed of as a kid. Maybe that job you were dreaming of,  landed in the daily paper and you opened to that exact page. Why brush that off? It’s the universe telling you it’s time to change. Get out of your comfort zone and let the universe guide you a bit. Take that chance. believe. Life is short, but it’s also fucking amazing when you are not just surviving, but living.

Ashamed

As I put down my guard, and talked through my fear,

I told you a secret, in my heart I held near.

How foolish I feel, as the words came to fall, through my fingers like prisms of light on my wall.

I look in the mirror, to find what is wrong; Is my light somehow tainted that I’ll never belong?

Could it be, what I see, in others is fake? Might my mind be near sighted and my soul is misguided?

What’s left to believe? If my world is deceived? All that I see… seemed real to me.

Perspective when interospective can cause the universe to break.

All these years, this life held silent, with a smile in my eyes and the hope never died.

Words scrolled on paper, held together by time. No one cared to read them, no one tried to find why.

How I wanted to shine.  In someones mind.

Just once.

Vibrations

The planets align, we go into rewind
Mercury rising, pushes us behind
Universal flow, pulls like undertow
Do we feed the flow?
How else do we know, how do we connect?
In retrospect, does it really matter?
When the mind is scattered, when emotions flatten.
Saturn will still, spin on her axis, and we break.
The energy soars, it opens the doors to the same vibes.
WE are alive! We breathe and thrive.
Dreams come to life, how do you explain this?
A surreal twist? Are you open to it?
Take my hand, let fear fall away
Our vibrations the same, though it seems very strange
it’s real.

Creation&Inspiration

I found one of the most powerful ways of reaching others is with creativity. To me, it’s when the most honest and truthful part of a person comes through. We are sometimes held back by fear and insecurity. When a soul is being creative, it’s vibrations and energy is able to open up the very same in others. Why do you think music is such a powerful medium for humanity? Music is the very creative expression, that has all the elements of the soul in it. The tones and notes melt into the mind and can evoke emotions and sensations. The words if there are any, can paint visual images and stories/lessons for us to think about. The galaxy and all of nature has a tone/vibration of “music” that gives order to what could become chaos. That is very powerful don’t you agree?

Numbers and scientific notations have a form of rhythm to them. Even DNA has it. Creation in any form can all come back to some sort of music. How so? Simple; when you think of string theory, you see an evolution of something. Action and reaction, polarity, energy. All of this has formula, and formula can be heard to some degree because anything sent out, has energy. Though we cannot hear the vibrations a earthquake sends off, there are seismic recorders that has capture such vibration and put it on paper as sound waves for us to see. The very same sound waves you would “See” if you put a guitar on paper as vibrations. What does this have to do with the soul and being inspired? When you open up and see how vast it is all around us, how everything gives us it’s creative energy and has been doing so for millions of years, the sun and the planets, the ocean and the elements. It gives you a greater understanding why connecting with others in a creative way hits so deeply. When you send out creativity, you inspire others to follow suit. You set off a chain reaction, much like the music of the spheres that follow a perfect harmonic balance in the universe. They “music” of the spheres can change the tides! We can as well. We are in our most perfect state when we are creating.

Ever listen to a instrument or see a color that just resonates within you? Perhaps the cello when you close your eyes, feels as though it’s vibrating in your heart area. Maybe you’ve felt as though it’s vibrations are painting your mind/soul is a beautiful deep mahogny? How beautiful to be able to share this with others. To be the cello’s creative master sending out such amazing connections to others. People in this state let down their walls and let perception in. Ever hear the term, “love me, love my art”? I believe this to be so very true.

We know music has been thought of as devine in nature for eons, as well as art and poetry. Dance has been a expression of many cultures for hundreds of years, to connect in many sacred ceremonies. When we look at a photograph someone has shared, we are seeing through someones “minds-eye”. We are opening our senses and perceptions.  In this I believe, we can find the purest form of love. When someone is sharing their creativity with us, they are being pure. When two people can sit together and create a song or lyric, sing and play piano, dance or cook a meal, they are raising their vibration levels to the highest they can be. It also soars through the universe like a ripple in the ocean. Creating more positivity around them. How very beautiful no? I believe that those who can share creatvity can have the deepest love in existence. It can change the universe. Even in the moment, with both souls. Vibrating on the same level, both will never be the same. It can heal and bring peace.

So to all the creative souls out there, please keep sharing your masterpieces, no matter what it might be. You have the power to shine!

Nose Hair Of Doom!

 

 

It was wrong,
I could not help but stare,

My attention kept turning,

To your one nasal hair.

 

It protruded quite vividly,

Though I tried not to gag,

The fear it would fly out,

Had my thoughts going mad.

I rubbed my own nose,

Thought you would too,

Instead you kept talking,

That plan was no good.

 

I offered a tissue,

You politely declined,

Said your sinuses were healthy,

Though, I thought you were blind!

 

With each breath you took,

The hair would twitch.

How could you not feel that?

Don’t that thing itch?

 

I got mental pictures,  it flew out of your nose,

Onto my lip, in my eye, or got stuck to my clothes.

Made me step back, with dry heaves cause it’s gross.

Should I run? 

Give you scissors, a mirror, tweezers or a gun?

Finally you smiled,

We talked for a while,

The nose hair was certainly lacking in style.

I said my farewells,  to the nose hair of doom!

 

The lesson here folks,

Remember to groom!

Reine’

Mastering; How much Do We Need To Master Really?

I was talking with someone the other day about mastering your life. This is what we want to do here on many levels. I understand this. I believe we are given challenges as well along our journeys to keep us humble. Do I believe we can become as pure as being just a soul on earth/gaia?

I’m not sure if that is what we are meant to do. We have complex cases we live in. The bodies require us to maintain them to a high degree to move on with our existence. Some have taken the mastery of maintaining their bodies to a wonderful and inspiring point. They treat the body as a temple and feed it well and are always in motion. I believe the mind and the body should be given balance of mastery.

There are certain things we do to flush ourselves or press a re-start button so to speak, so we can maintain good health of both body/mind mastery. We meditate and we fast. We chose organic food or perhaps push our bodies/minds to do great and amazing things. We climb mountains and run 50k races! We are boundless in our quests.

This is where I come to question certain ideas and/or concepts of enlightenment.

I have been reading about a group of people called the Breatheairians. http://www.angelfire.com/stars3/breathe_light/types.html

http://www.breatharian.com/wileybrooks.html

They believe one can survive on prana, light and energy without intake of food. This is their mastery of life.

I believe that there is such energy around us and through us. It’s in many cultures; has many names. We know it most familiar from the East as Chi. The native Americans call it Mana. It is the energy of life. We all have it and it’s experienced in many ways.

But are we meant to go to such levels of existence being human? Created with digestive tracks; are we meant to master the body in a way that we do not consume? When we are no longer energy in this body, we become as such, that we will be Free of such earthly pleasures.

Maybe there is something we are to learn and experience on some level by eating and the reverence for ourselves. Is it really mastering the body as we are supposed to by getting to some state of Nirvana that one does not have to consume food or liquids to survive?

Perhaps the test for us here, is balance with the times being some, are living in abundance. We may take for granted when we raise a hand to our mouth to take a bite of apple, or perhaps we take for granted we can walk to the market and get milk if we so desire.

The Orient has such a reverence for eating, they create masterful dishes based on colors and textures, infused with spices and amazing flavours. Could this be something some are denying themselves; the reverence for creation around us, that was meant for us to take from?

Monks go fasting for days on end, to master hunger and have clear thought. I have tried it myself to jump start a diet. It works, there is no doubt. But it can be extreme.

This leaves me with the questions today, how much are we really meant to master of ourselves here, before we have lost the point of being humans on earth? Do we want to be so masterful in our state of being, we no longer connect with others around us on many levels and become secluded? Are we not meant to connect and learn from each other?

I believe there will be time, when we become a greater being/energy beyond what we are in the reality/earth/level of consciousness. But how much altering do we do, till we have now missed the point of certain limitations?

Yes, I’m rather impressed that in yoga, one can learn to put their legs behind their head (truth be told, it’s kinda turn on as well) but, as far as self mastery goes, is it really? I’m not sure. Perhaps this is all a personal thing each of us must decide. But for the greater universal mind, I still wonder…

The Alignment Of The Flames

oriontrust.jpg

So, I’ve called from Gaia, transcending life;
Universe believe me, In the Sun’s solar blanket – I have awakened.

Sending out vibrations, my energy reaching; can anyone take it?
Can you hear these prisms of blue?
Can you sense as it pours over you?
I do.

Sages and Masters – as you’ve come before me; I implore thee in my journey; help me seek wisdom – from the mystics and meek.

In this humble mind I search –  for others like me;
To heal the earth.
This soul has a thirst, from my time of birth;
Many questions find the surface.
This drives my existence,
Questions will quench this.

My Twin flame, call me by name.
Sleep so deeply, in these hours you greet me;
Our polarity pulls, the universe stills;
We are united.

Now our lights shine, as the halos go for miles;
Caused a ripple in time, sends love like fire.
We are balance and harmony;
Kindness and empathy;
Our hope for Humanity;
Keeps us inspired.

Reine’

Wrong Number (Yes, You’ve Dialed It)!

Today, for the 10th time today, I had someone call the wrong number. Not that the number is wrong in numerical truth. Yes, they dialed MY number, and asked for someone else. The thing that gets me is, what THEY reply, when I tell them this.

Me: “Hello”
Them: “Hello is Bob there?”
Me: “Sorry, I think you’ve got the wrong number” (this seems to piss people off, because they are far to advanced an intellect to have dialed the wrong number).
Them: “Is this 555-5555?”
Me: “Yes, but Bob does not live here”. (I know this because, well, it’s my home)
Them: “Are you sure, because this is the number Bob gave me”.
Me: “Really, does Bob know I won’t take his calls?”
Them: “So you know Bob?”
Me: “No, but you said he gave you my number, and he does not live here.”
So they hang up and dial again, and ask for Bob. He still does not live here. They get it now.

The second type of caller is the the one that asks ME what number THEY dialed. I suppose this comes in handy, if they have no numbers on their phone. Those no number phones are fantastic to look at, but they never seem to dial right.

The third one I got today, asked who the hell I was? This one I had to have fun with of course.

Me: “Hello?”
Them: “Who’s this?”
Me: “Who I’ve always been.”
Them: “Debbie, are you drunk?”
Me: “I never speak for Debbie, only me”
Them: “can you just put Debbie on the phone asshole?”
Me: “Do you always call rectums for Debbie, because I think Debbie would be highly offended.”
Them: “Debbie has a real smart ass friend, that is not so funny, tell her I called.”
Me: “I don’t really know Debbie, and if you really want to talk to her, you have to call HER number.”
Them: “Yeah, ok Bitch, if you don;t tell her I called, I’m gonna come over there and bust yo face.”
Me: “Ok see ya in a bit, tell Debbie I said hello when ya get there.”
Them: “click”

The last one is the person who calls does not even ask for anyone, just says “hay, what’s up” by this time I am all laughed out and tell them wrong number. They tell me sorry and hang up. They call back and I say wrong number again. They call back 3rd time. I ask if he understands it’s not the number he wants and ask what number he dialed. He goes on to tell me he don’t know, because it’s in his speed dial. I ask him why he kept the wrong number in his speed dial? He replies, “I did not want to forget where I dialed.”
Oh, well that makes sense. I myself am going to start a boycot of erasers. Just write over the mistakes, until I get it right.
This conversation could have went on for hours, but after he asked me to dinner, I had to hang up. LOL

Wanting VS Needing


I’ve been asking many questions and searching for many answers for the right path to follow. I have read countless books and searched myself, others, meditated, went into crowds and just about hugged everyone. I’ve noted the complex theory, and equations to everything. I’ve kept it simple and truthful.
But things still did not “feel” right to me. Today, it hit me. I have my answer. I’ve spent too much time asking the Universe for things that are shallow. The universe knows I am not, so it will never come to pass. I wanted to fit in and have people proud of me. See me as a go getter and a dream maker. I wanted to be like many, who strive for this amazing life surrounding them. But that is the mistake.
I am simple and humble. I do not want a fancy car. I don’t doubt that I deserve a fancy car, but for what? To just have? My car drives just fine.

I don’t want a huge house on a hill. For what? To fill it with more things? How will that all fare when I find my way into the afterlife? Big deal, it’s all transient.
I am no longer going to ask the Universe for desires and wants. Because those are false things filling your soul. It goes against our purpose of having a soul and living. WE are here to learn and grow and heal and love. Wanting is fun, but it covers up existence.
I am going to spend more of my time thanking the Universe for guiding me to what I need and for helping me grow. I need to be free of want, want, want. I need to connect with others who feel it’s time to enjoy the moment and not live for wants. Live for the fact that we are here. That we have been and always will be beautiful creations that expand IN the Universe.

Does that make me less of a human being because I’m not trying to sound like some high achiever? Does it make me less of a human being because I don’t measure my life like many in humanity do?
I’m not saying not to strive for being as amazing as a human can be. We should. But I’m feeling that I am spending too much time asking, and not just ‘being’.
I think knowing when to let go of ‘want’ is a huge thing for me as well. It’s not failure. It’s not low self-esteem. It’s freeing. I am not holding my soul back from being true. I enjoy writing poems. I do not need to be famous for it, nor do I need to be rich from it. I do however NEED to write. It’s healing, it touches others, and it connects me to those of like souls and vibrations. The rest will come if the Universe feels I NEED it. Otherwise, I am where I am supposed to be. Me!
Wanting, I’ve made some grave mistakes. I’ve asked for things that never seem to come to pass. In fact, it will go in the opposite direction. I thought perhaps I needed to get to know what I really wanted. But again, it’s ‘want’ that got in the way. I think the bravest and most freeing thing I will ever do is to let go of want. Just love, learn, reach out and feel compassion. Create and keep searching. With a humble heart and filled with joy. The rest is up to the powers that be. That is all I need.

Surreal Sensory Overload

I’m not sure how to describe this to others, except for in a sensation way. I have been asking for many things to come to the surface as of late. Though I’ve been on this journey for some years now, it was being pushed to the back of my emotions and mind in fear. I know this might not make sense, but please bare with me as I go on…
I’ve always written my poetry from dreams and these “awakened” moments. They’ve always come as answers to things I asked about to the Universe and my Spirit guide.
I put it out there to reach out and see if others understood and felt inspired by what I was feeling; if they felt it too.
I have only in the last 2 years been finding such things as The Secret and The Ancient and Mystical Order Rosae Crucis. I have asked, and they have been guided to me. For that I am grateful. I know as well that we have life themes we chose to grow our souls from before we get here.
I wrote many of these poems, before I read about any of this and after reading many books and talking to many others who are in a awakened-truth state, I feel as though I have found the most beautiful and wonderful life.
I had many tell me I am strange or weird. I had many not “get me” or think I was fake (somehow people cannot accept if someone really is loving and kind and open hearted) and that scared me. That to love others and feel loved, I had to always prove I was sincere.
That is when I knew, that I wanted to help others feel this and understand their life journey.
I was afraid to tell people I can feel their energy or that I can tune into some people on my vibration level and almost give readings about what will happen next.
I know everyone can do this, but believing is the only thing holding them back from tuning into others.
I have also been on this quest to find my other half. Now mind you, I am a whole person and do not feel fragmented, but I do believe that some souls feel a stronger urge to connect deeply in a human way with another in this life. Perhaps because when two souls who vibrate on the same level meet, they send out this amazing energy to the universe and humanity can feel this. it’s not just for selfish reasons, but the grater good of mankind.
I am still reshaping my life right now, I want to see myself through different eyes. I want to expand my mind more and creativity.
I am putting this out there, because I know this will bring others who understand into my life and we can grow together.
I see colors in music. I feel life energy and see it in people. I want to find my twin soul, who will journey along side me and grow.  I want to explore all this beautiful gift of life has here for us. I cannot go back to who I was before, because once you know the truth, you know nothing else.
I hope this made sense to someone, because I find it was hard to connect with others who felt this way before. I was afraid to be me, to be open and share this beautiful understanding. For those who think it’s freaky or weird, one day, even the most indifferent of souls will come to understand. Time is a human condition, the Universe does not follow it. So perhaps is not your time to get it, but you will, it’s what the soul is meant to do, in this life, or another.