Time To Heal (Warning Graphic Photos)

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It’s been a little rough this time round. This is my 6th spine surgery.  This one was to change the positions of the paddles connected to my spine because the first surgical implant was causing abdominal nerve pain.

I now have full coverage of the nerves going down both legs that got crushed.  The paddles are placed at t9/t10 and the wires are brought down my spine to the left where there is a battery implanted under my skin. This control the wave/pulses that mask the nerve pain. The older scar is where they have removed damaged disks and fused my spine with hardware.

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I once again am sharing this because I want others to know there is hope. There is no need to suffer in life altering pain. I’ve read so many stories of people giving up and becoming addicted to pain meds – I want to let people know it can get better. I am in some discomfort due to the second surgery being so close to the first. I have to take it easy for a Month to let the paddles heal in place. If it moves I could cause severe damage to my spinal column. This device might not be the answer for everyone who has nerve damage – it’s been a miracle for me. I welcome anyone interested in learning more about the spinal stim implant to leave me a message and I will gladly answer to perhaps help maybe someone else heal.

 

Thank you everyone for your prayers and healing energy – it made this surgery more peaceful and brought me strength through it all.

 

 

Dream Of Nature

sept23rd2015 070Can you touch the colors of nature?

Can you feel the whispers of creation?

Do you sleep walk into my imagination?

Your presence creates a reverberation.

Have you tasted the waters of life?

Will you share your luminous light?

It comes to the surface in the stillness of night.

Can you dance without your body?

Can you trace my lips with melody?

Do you experience the mystery?

It’s a perfect symmetry.

Come soar with me – beyond possibility, further then the mind can see;

infused with beauty – it’s a drop of infinity.

Just you and me… writing history – that lasts eternity.

This is the dream of nature.

Thečhíȟila kštó

Oct12th2015 055For you with wings I speak,

For you with kindness I seek,

For you with heart I watch,

For you with humility I long to touch.

For you with trust, I listen deeply;

For you who is honest, I kneel in your beauty.

May all the wonders of creation rise in your presence,

May the sun and sky bathe you in their essence.

May the galaxies illuminate your steady path,

May the seas and forests honor your mask.

As you sleep, may your dreams heal your soul;

As you take your last breath,

May Great Spirit call you home.

Here in the silence – I sit under the tree,

Sending you light through eternity.

You Were Ashamed Of Me

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I sometimes wish, I could go back to the ignorant bliss.

Back to that space where I trusted everything you said.

You spoke with such fluidity, you knew just what to say to me.

I had such profound respect.

I would have given everything for a single moment – in your presence.

I’ll never understand your intent,

I forgive… but I’ll never forget.

I have no regret, just a little emptiness.

I know that the connections pushed aside on this life path – won’t continue after this.

What could not be healed when given the chance – must be left.

The one thing that I would not have  conceived – how you became ashamed of me.

Hiding all the creations, under some strange name of make believe.

That says everything.

Spirit does not sit on a fence, there is no doubts or elusive promise;

It was a gift… of experience.

The Healer Of Song (For Simon Le Bon)

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It’s not a phenomenon, it’s not a religious right or dogma;

It’s the blend of words and tone.

It’s what is known.

When a life feels ignored and alone, when a fragile moment stops the flow.

When a heart is not sure where to go.

It’s a lifeline, a gentle light,

When they’re not sure how to make it through the night.

It’s a space to go deep and dream awhile.

It pulls a mind to softly unwind.

It uplifts a soul, it changes the sensation from numb to whole.

You must trust the flow.

You are a healer – as you weave your melody,

It’s not some miraculous intervention – it’s honest harmony.

Please believe.

It gives the tears a safe place to fall,

It makes a smile form, where there seems no hope at all.

It moves the life to create,

It holds the space.

So when you sing your song,

To all who are listening,

You bring this beautiful glistening – and take us on a journey.

 

Prism

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All that draws us to what is beyond the clouds,

All that covers our eyes with shrouds,

An ancient luminous sphere’s presence;

Holds our attention in the cosmic heavens.

All the mysteries are outlined,

All the symphonies are divine – when you listen in the center of your mind.

Are you brave to leave it all behind?

What far reaches are on this course?

The beauty is how it pulls us inward.

How bright is the Source?

It’s a prism of all creation in the single beat of the heart.

Perception is in flux, life is a paradox;

Worlds collide when the moment is right – in the stillness of the night.

Don’t become a recluse;

Allow the kiss of the Muse,

Here is where energy will fuse,

The soul turns blue – whispers become tantra and love is fluid.

Congruent is the synchronicity between me and you.

Come through… and touch infinity.

Infused

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You set the tone, the sky came so close;

All the sensations could be felt, my soul began reaching out.

In a state of wonder, in a space of inspiration – your heart taught me fascination.

I experienced you in all creation.

Complete elation.

You set the pace, with your symphonic grace  – I seen you far away, with a smile on your face;

I wanted to infuse you with love.

You set the dream on fire, left a key for the muse to feed the desire.

You are not alone.

In the violet parchment horizon, a wish turned the light on;

If you believe and trust in miracles,

We will break this silence.

Conjunction

fullmoonAug29th2015 003You appeared as a luminous apparition  in the galaxy;

A conjunction was created from nothing,

All the lucid dreamers began to reach – you poured down your energy.

Rise to me as you breathe.

All the planets aligned, you kissed my mind;

I left my fragile body behind.

Everything centered, a mantra of ether, your pull like heaven.

Souls congruent, synchronicities  movement;

No sense of humanity could ever prove this.

Please stay in this space with me,

Please trust the Angels,

Existence is a vibration that’s changing.

You infuse me…

Celestial and eternal beauty.

 

Sonic Architecture (Inspired by John Taylor)

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Layers of sound rebound across the sky,

You are the architect of sonic design.

In the center of the mind – is a vivid light,

It stretches like melody that brought us through the night.

You touch the strings like you’re weaving a web,

They pulse and vibrate with every breath.

You modulate like thunder in the distance.

Time here is irrelevant.

Creating a vortex of chords,

Changing the tone through the space that is born.

You have the mastery to bend all noise,

You oscillate and dilate with every word,

This is what is heard.

You are the symphonic matrix,

We close our eyes and listen – to the sonic architect.

A Glimpse

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The sky showed the sun how to rise;

Just allow your light.

The water trusted the experience and reflected in sincerity;

The horizon created the harmony for the moment of beauty.

The distance allowed the gulls to cry and left their hint across the mind.

The trees held high the fire and outlined the mystery.

This is the truth of Creation,

A moment so prefect,

It could only reveal to the soul.

 

 

From Within – Moving Throughout

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Right in the center of our being – radiates a light.

All creation reveals this in our eyes.

It calms the sentient mind – so we can be deeply inspired.

We must let go of the how or the why;

There is no answer that would let our soul be satisfied.

Just let your breath expand your senses,

The body has such denseness, thoughts can become relentless;

Don’t focus on it, move it and bend it.

What did your Spirit pull you through as you dream?

What did that whisper sound like as you weep?

What was that melodic rhythm that caressed you as you sleep?

Want to be free?

Love without mercy, create infinity, trace the beauty and share it with everybody.

Mystery is calling, our heart if falling into destiny.

This is the experience of possibility.

Trust – the journey.

 

Experience

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So many things I would have said;

So many words – not enough breath.

Years of inspiration that created all that’s immaculate.

The most profound silences.

Shadows and whispers of  a daydreaming sentient.

Exploring the wondrous.

Reconstructing a moment, touching deep solace, trusting the process.

Choices and decisions,

A feeling, a healing, an accomplishment.

If I could paint the vision;

If I could sing the prisms;

If I could plant the gardens, raise the children,

Touch the sunset.

I’d have no regrets.

As I call your name across the vast divide –  It comes to focus,

These are the wings of experience.

The Droplet

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Years passed, I held on to the dream like a droplet on a feather.

I would not let it blend with the water, I would not forget it’s creation.

I floated for a millions moments, keeping it centered;

Sometimes I had to let it reach my very tip… but I could not release it.

I waited and hoped with the loyalty of a prayer;

I cried so deeply that the rain bowed in my presence.

Then one day at the edge of the ocean – I noticed I was no longer echoing;

I called across the universe and my consciousness answered.

I searched for the sound of your static;

I heard the collective of iridescent matter.

In that space of surrender and grace… I gave the dream to the Masters.

The droplet left  the feather;

It became part of the whole sea filled with people asking…

“Is it real?”

The purpose answered… “it’s what makes you feel.”

I watched the experience of the feather.

It began to sink in the waters.

The dream no longer needed the carrier.

I knew it then – my dream was over,

It’s now The Fire of Heaven.

Source

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You seen I forgot my way home;

You went past the person and talked to the soul.

You understand what it means to be still;

To listen, to surrender, to be whole.

In your kindness I experienced the light of gold.

In your selfless intention – there was an intervention;

A prayer to Source – to remember the journey and stay on course.

I am grateful to thee.

Know that on this day, in your loving way… you’re an angel to me.

Acceptance

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I might look different now,
But I still try to walk the same ground.
I might not stand as strong,
But my core is still moved by the beautiful songs.
I might take longer then you to climb out of bed,
But when my feet touch the floor – I know I’m blessed.
I might have to sit a moment and take a rest,
But I love to watch everyone dancing in bliss.
I might need assistance to tie my shoes, to carry the groceries, get the trashcan to move;
But if you look in my eyes, you’ll see I’m true.
I might not be able to do what I did,
But I love just as deep and choose how to live.
Some call it challenge, some call it injury, some see it as a disability;
Not me;
My heart is still strong and my soul is free.
I learned some time ago…
It’s how we move the energy.

Negative Equation

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Why complain about complaining?
Why see this dark cloud;
I try to show you it’s not raining.
On the defensive,
Why do all you see is blaming?
There is no real problem,
There is no one shaming.
Why so negative, what’s with this vibe?
Not sure what brought you to this point,
This is no way to survive.
Take a walk, go for a drive;
Release the anger,
Calm the mind.
Fury can make a person blind,
One deep breath at a time,
Unwind.

Why do you think everyone is out to get you?
What is the reason for this attitude?
Embrace some gratitude.
No one is trying to change you,
Sometimes it’s about seeing another view,
It does not mean you lost some fight,
What is more important – understanding… or being right?
Just trying to shed some light.
Not trying to preach, just kind advice.
We’ve all got a faults, we’ve all got our limits,
We’ve all had our patience tested, this is how we’re expanded;
Not by causing emotional damage.
When I misunderstand, I open my heart… not my hand;
I look in the mirror, I ask if it’s worth it;
What is my purpose?
Will it make a difference?
Or is it… just a reaction because I feel they don’t listen.
Anger is emotion, it’s not the solution.

The Realms Of Music

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There is a music created in the stars;
In the stillness and the silence – we hear it in our hearts.
There is melody that rings with perfection,
Every note is played with intention.
There is a symphony with crescendos of light;
Born from the dreams we release in the night.
From an existence where harmony is life;
Where flowers and waters sing truth to our eyes.
Angels resonate like earthly wind chimes.
You can touch this space in the center of your mind.
You can feel each tone one breath at a time.
Where we are the song that always inspires.

Electric

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When eyes meet;
When every breath between us in multi – sensory;
The slightest touch creates synergy.

As space becomes imaginary;
No words spoke to me, only visions of eternity;
It all fits perfectly, the beautiful symmetry;
A thought infuses molecular creativity.

Suddenly, a gap in reality;
A perspective shifts into belief;
Questioning the purpose of connectivity;
Then the push of fear begins it’s taunting seed.

What is electricity?
A force? A fusion? An ion and neutron collision?
Science has it’s explanation;
The mind has a fascination;
The soul feels it’s dilation;
Creation… knows it’s the experience of you and me.

The Garden

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It started with the broadest smile;
My heart opened and the flowers went for miles.
You laughed with surrender and out poured the sun;
It rose through me as a vibration.
I knew we were home.
Such peace and harmony, nothing serious, just simplicity.
Every flower had a eternal melody,
This is where you reach me.
I hope my life, will never forget the dream.

My Spinal Cord Stim Implant ( warning – some photos with graphic content) Updated…

I would not usually write about such a thing in my blog. I share poems and photos here. I have been asked a lot (I was blown away actually) with interested folks asking exactly what a Spinal cord stim implant is and why I have one.

I thought I would explain as it is a bit easier to do it this way then send so many E – mails or messages.

A quick rundown of what happened to my spine. In 2002 I was in a cross walk and was hit at 70mph by a very young driver on a cell phone who went through the light. I am not going to discuss this end of it – but am explaining what the first injury was from.

I will however say that I am very grateful to still be here after being hit at that speed.

I had some injuries to my shoulder, knee, head at that time since have healed well.

My herniation in L/4 L5 had blown out and was pressing on nerves. It took lots of physical therapy to get to the point I could walk correctly and it seemed like I would be fine. It was then in 2006 when I had hit the floor and could not feel my legs. I had moved wrong and the herniation utterly blew out. I was given a surgery that freed up the nerves and it healed ok.

I had been getting some pain now and then and some tingly feelings in my legs but it was nothing I could not deal with day to day. In 2009 It happened again; I was sitting in a class I was taking and lost feeling in my legs. I was scared at this time because nothing I could explain brought it on. Again, (different surgeon) freed up another nerve and with major physical therapy I was walking again and though it took more time this round – I was able to heal it well.

Years had gone by, in 2012 I bent wrong and hit the ground, this time I did not get up. I lost feeling in my foot and the pain was making me pass out. Went to ER and spent about 10m days in hospital. After many Dr opinions and tests I was told my spine was collapsing and if I did not get a fusion I would be in a wheelchair for good. It was in 2013 after having over 30 spinal block injections, physical therapy, lots of opiates and medications and nothing was helping. I went with the fusion but because it took so long for me to finally find the surgeon who knew what it was, I lost the feeling in my foot and use of it. The Surgery secured my spine though I wound up with a puncture to my Dura that caused a bad leak (left me in hospital for almost 3 weeks and laying flat on my back) I got through it and began to heal once again. Though my spine was a bit more stable, the nerve damage at many levels was without exaggeration, very painful. I am not one to take pain pills and it felt like even those and at times, Morphine and Dilauded drips could not make the nerve pain calm down. It got to the point I was not sleeping or able to do much. I began to lose all feeling and use of my left leg all the way to my foot. It was the kindness and dedication of my GP that got me a custom leg/foot brace that allows me to walk without using my walker as much. The pain was still controlling me though. I was able to re-connect with my surgeon who did my second surgery and he told me about the spinal cord stimulator. He was honest and said he could not fix the damage done to my nerves. even though my spine has now begun to curve to the right and I still have a herniation pushing on nerves in L3/L4 he felt the risk of going back into the same spot as the fusion would be way to high risk. He told me that this SCS was created for people like me who were at the end of the line so to speak. So I said OK! I am willing to try this.

The trial was implanted on May 1st and it did not go too well. I had a not usual experience where the stim was triggering my uterus to go into spasm and it felt like I was in labor for 3 days. They kept me in the hospital to figure it out.

This was the trial implant, The wires are implanted in my spine at the T 10 level. Then the wires were pulled down my spine and outside my body was the stim device that had different programs that caused a tingly feeling down my legs that stopped the nerve pain (but gave me other challenges at that time)

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My custom brace I am grateful for.❤

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This was the Rocky Mountain fever in Aug 2011

 

I went home and sadly because of the reaction, had to wait to get it tuned correctly and the day before the perm implant, I finally got the relief I was asking for in my legs.

On May 8th they did the perm implant.

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This time the device is under my skin and the wires are inside my spine. I have a remote control that the Representatives who created the device create different programs for me to try that gives different sensations. I am still not getting any relief in my back but my legs are amazing. No pain. I am having some challenges with my right leg feeling numb and the wounds are still kinda sensitive. I am getting abdominal cramps from it badly and a few other things that need adjusting. So far, so good. I cannot say yet if it was worth all the pain of getting it implanted for my back, but the pain in my legs it sure is.

I’ve left a lot out of this because it would become mundane and complaining sounding if I added anymore. I am grateful for my life and this challenge has taught me more then I could ever put into words. Life is a gift and everything is a lesson to expand us. I am and always will be trusting of why things happen.

Thank you for taking time to read my blog. I am deeply grateful for all those who gave me loving support and encouragement during it all. My love always.

Updating;

I am utterly in awe with the love and kindness of so many who have had life altering challenges respond to me (in private) I respect this deeply; that I wanted to touch base on just a few more things I believe are relevant.

All of us, I and I know this for sure – have had life altering experiences. No matter what that might be, we all have or will face this. Pain is transient and even though some of us experience chronic pain – it does not define us. I have had a few health challenges besides this; including a heart attack in 2011 and Rocky mountain fever a month after. Both of those left me feeling as if it was the worst experience I could have. It WAS in the moment. My point in this is; all of these things taught me the strongest most healing lesson of it all. It’s a moment. It’s an experience; it’s something everyone can relate with and it creates the space within us to see how strong of a will we really all do have.

I have met many folks who have/are living and healing from Cancer, Lupus, different blood disorders, accidents that left them paralyzed, blind, even dealing with post traumatic stress. Some are born with health challenges of the mind and of the body that make me inspired to know them because they are still here, still never giving up.

I am grateful to talk to many who taught me about natural healing, meditation, healthy foods and herbs that help.

Thank you to all those who share their stories in hope to help others to be inspired to hold on and not feel alone in their challenges.

Most of all, I wanted to up date this to say thank you to all those who on a daily biases care for all of us who have had challenges (no matter what they are) and stand by us unconditional. It takes a very strong heart/soul to watch a loved one go through such experiences and feel helpless at times or not know what to do. To take on daily tasks and then some out of love/friendship.

Thank you once again all who have read this far and I would love so much to know your story and connect with you if you have experienced something no matter what that is that changed your life and revealed your strong soul to you.

Distance

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Why must we give a name, to bring an experience into this plane.

Why does the miracle become analytical?

Why must we define, another place – another life?

What is space when souls collide?

What gives a Muse it’s sacred space?

The fascination of it’s emotional grace?

How does she move you from far away?

She surfaces your silence and gives voice to your dreams.

Nothing is ever what it seems.

Why must distance be such a hindrance?

When you can’t touch her, when you can’t embrace her;

She can serve as inspiration.

This exchange brings elevation – not information or separation.

Why draw this line between heart and mind?

Convictions and convincing just wasting time.

We are the expression of being alive!

Love is a word, can it truly be heard?

Create that beautiful truth as a verb?

In between heart beat and breath – is creation and silence and the music of stillness.

Sound surrounds, the quiet rebounds;

The truth echoes, the universe grounds.

Distance….

Is loud.

Oh Beautiful Angels (Thank You)

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Oh beautiful Angels, I am still so grateful.
When my whole being begged, when my soul knelt on the edge;
When you knew my prayers of love were honest,
You listened.
I heard you sing and shine from beyond.
I felt your warmth.
I knew you called oceans and pulled strong – to bring together what belonged.
I know you synchronized and created visions of light – as my Spirit requested in this life.
Oh beautiful Angels, you never let go;
You cried with me when my heart broke.
You know.
You held me so close, you surrounded me and brought me home.
In your mercy and glory I am in awe.
You’re never far.
You inspire a fire of trust in the stars.
Teach me to serve as you are.
Thank you – for walking with me this far.

Lucid Dream Of The Infinite Beyond

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You whisper; are you feeling better now –  to my soul.
You trace every thought you read in my eyes – with the smile on your mind.
I ask you if this is real?
You kiss me in the space when my heart stops beating an consciousness slips.
You speak softly without sound; “you’ll remember this”.

Am I incarnate?

All this energy resonates around us like a orgasm suspended in tantric bliss.
Every movement is sublime and surreal, your presence is so deeply vivid.

Have we somehow blended?

I wake to the shattering of imagination and the questioning of another dimension.

The Place You Knew Me

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I long for that place, it seems so far away;
Where the colors are so vivid and we hear creation’s life.
Where all we do is resonate a beautiful tone and are never alone – where our souls are bright.
Do you ever dream in this life, of that smile… the symphony we created in the center of our hearts?
Do you ever just stop in silence, in an echo from somewhere – a memory seems so alive?
Could you ever believe you knew me;
That we laughed and soared with eternal fire.
Has this existence caused your resistance – now you keep your distance and closed your mind?
Why?
I wish I could remind you of that place you knew me;
Where we promised we’d meet again, yet you see right through me.
I ask Spirit; why must this be one sided?
Why must we remain divided?
When I seen you again, our world collided.
Every time I look in the sand, I feel a soft hand;
A soft whisper comes from within – it’s not the end.
So I scroll as a wordsmith, ache like a poet, photograph like a ghost;
In hope… you will find it.
A quiet reminder, just to inspire… you to remember.

Subtle

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As I turn, I see you outlined;

Amber and caressed by the light,

You are fluid, suspended in movement.

Contoured by shadows, my mind follows your lines.

Are you a reflection or a dream undecided?

Your water drips at the edge of my smile.

I can taste the invite.

Silence is the source of lust rising,

You melt like ice.

Subtle and always changing,

A muse of melodic design.

A Little Part OF You

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I felt you slip away, to a sacred place,

You lived a life of love – with the hands of grace.

All those tears that fell, are now part of creation.

Behind you left us inspiration.

Even as these words try to find a source, I feel your light and hear your voice.

Even the sun could not paint your beauty, so the universe filled with stars to create you a symphony.

In my smile I know you can hear me.

As the seasons change and life feeds time, a part of you will always shine.

In the silence, I turn my eyes to the sky.,

Here your presence will never die.

May the Angels sing eternal for you Ruth. God Bless you as you found your way home.

Stay Present

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Stay present child of nature,

The mind, it goes to sleep.

Find the whispers of creation, let our peace run deep.

Stay honest sentient one, for the heart can never lie;

Surrender to the stillness, it will make us wise.

Stay humble and objective, for life is no surprise.

Long before our karma heals us, the reason why we breathe;

We must learn the path of compassion, to show us how to see.

Stay grateful in the moment, coincidence is illusion;

All that IS and always was, keeps us from confusion.

Hold reverence for the connections, for here is sacred space;

In the inspirations and love creations, we’ll shift the Human race.

It Was Always Enough (Dear Mom And Dad)

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It was so cold outside, I remember.
Dad was late from work, in mid December.
You spent all afternoon making the soup,
My sister and I were off in our rooms.
You called us for dinner as Dad walked in,
I sat at the table, making ungrateful comments.
Complaining and whining, the meal was; “cheap”,
How could we be filled on broth and grilled cheese?
I got up and left, never touching my plate,
Had I turned back around, I would’ve seen you never ate.

Years have now passed and I’m now a Mother;
Spent nights up late working for the bread and the butter.
Tired some evenings, aching to the bone,
Creating a meal for the children… alone.
Adding a little of this, a pinch of that,
Pulling a feast from out of my hat.
Telling myself, this is healthy and filling;

Then the children won’t eat it, said it’s “gross” or unappealing.
I find myself thinking of that night long ago,
What I said to my parents, now said by my own.
A lesson that took years to come back around,
Made me pick up the phone and share what I found.

Dear Mom and Dad, as a child I did not see;
You filled my dish, as yours went empty.
You sacrificed,
With love and grace,
I need to tell you, before it’s too late.
I know what it’s like now, I’ve walked in your shoes,
I ask your forgiveness, now I know the truth.

Love,
A VERY grateful daughter.

Alone

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Vast is the difference between alone and lonely.

Everyone has their story;

A long day at work, a patience testing trip,

A body tired from illness, a tragic message, a lost friendship, a relationship ended.

So you walk for hours as thoughts seem relentless.

We can’t escape it, not ready to embrace it;

So we just sit.

Numb and silent, observing, breathing and surrendered.

It’s a surreal magic, in the middle of all that’s tragic – comes the answer.

There is call to be alone, just you and your heart, quiet in the moment.

Here we are not lonely, no need for company;

The connection is revealing, as we begin healing, just us and the sea.

The waves pull us far from the sentient mind,

Takes us beyond the situation, lets our emotions unwind.

We start to notice the glistening of the water, the way the sand allows our feet to dig deep – lets our eyes wander.

We can now feel the winds whipping salted air across our faces, then you smile;

It’s these sacred spaces, they come at just the right time.

This is reaching of high tide, with arms open wide… you spin as high as the seagulls fly;

Why?

Because we all know, that being alone is needed sometimes.

Because we can touch the inner child.

Because everything that brought us right here, keeps our dreams alive.

Give your soul the freedom – take a moment to celebrate your life.

 

Refraction Of Light

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What enchants the eyes, a glistening sky?

What entrances the mind; a whisper from the wise?

What reflects the light; a heart that never dies.

Can you reach the vastness; would you leave all ideals behind?

The universe is so diverse,  we know this deep inside.

We are as infinite as we are inspired.

There is no velocity in  stagnant sight .

It’s simple subtraction, takes just a fraction;

Love is an action,  we are sublime.

Trust is the protractor, truth  is the journey,  the heart is the refraction of  light.

When Someone Reaches Out

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When someone is brave, in the middle of sorrow;

When they somehow find the voice to speak – because they want a new tomorrow.

When all they can do to form some words, is whisper in your ear;

Don’t criticize their broken lives – they trusted you through their fear.

When someone reaches out – but their words seem to make no sense;

Listen with your open heart, it’s not about content.

When someone is breaking down in front of you, please don’t turn away,

You might be the one person – who helps them through the day.

When someone admits they are worried, when confusion and sadness sets in;

Even a gesture of a caress on the hand could be the biggest difference.

Don’t make it all about you, don’t try to give advice;

Just be there fully present, look deep into their eyes.

When someone comes to you – not sure how to stop the tears;

Let them know you’ll stand beside them, though the answers are not clear.

Never challenge a shattered soul, who speaks of taking their life,

Though we may know, the moment will go;

The emotions are real in their strife.

When someone asks for help, guide them to a source;

Without judgement or opinion, encourage them to that course.

When someone trusts in you, to share the darkest hours;

Be grateful and humbled they see in you – a garden of healing flowers.

Your Beautiful Wings

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I watch quietly, to hear everything.
As the sun poured from the sky, it painted your beautiful wings.
Your soft eyes speak, your calm voice seeps deep;
I drift to sleep.
Come sit next to me in nature,
Come fill your moment with laughter,
In stillness there is one heartbeat.

Could it be…

We incarnated, to reveal love’s mystery?
Silence is the music and life is the dream.

Unexplained

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How can it be, you hear me?
How do you know, what do you see?
How is it – you reach me in my dreams?
How do you know what I am feeling, say things I thought before I speak?
Are we ripples of the same velocity?
How did we first meet?
Do you understand the connection?
Is there an answer for the unexplained mystery?
Does there really need to be?
Hush your mind, unwind and let your spirit enjoy the beauty.
It’s a gift of the heart, to reach so far – to be so free.
Would anyone trust this, would anyone truly believe?
Questions are in abundance, to satisfy logic, there is no need.
Simply know, from in your soul, there is more to trust then are eyes can see.

Casting The Sail

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On a humble sea I float;
On the water of life, I’ve anchored this boat.
On the waves of love – I sink or swim;
In the depth of blue, I go within.
I cast my sail to winds of trust;
I drowned in anger and surfaced in lust.
I touched the horizon of purpose.
As the shore moves further away;
I let go of the past and live for today.
The tide hears me pray.
I drift in bliss as the daylight mists and my fears begin to fade.
I am the sailor of eternity.

The Heartfire

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For every breath, in every hour;
For every beautiful smile and every gracious flower;
The most impeccable joy,  the most immaculate voice.
My heart is on fire and open wide.
Such profound light, a pull so strong it goes beyond sight.
A calling so pure, I will endure.
A space we all know so well, a welcoming of the truest depth.
My Soul in awe, a radiant star.
Every bit of my part in creation – knows who you are.
The Union of Heaven on Earth.
This is the awakening of love.
Become the Master you ARE.

Obsess

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Such a useless space.
Going over and over what should have been.
Replaying the pain like a script.
Constantly reacting.
Feeding your mind the poison of obsessing.
Nothing ever comes out of it.
Lost sleep, headaches, tears and years of regret.
Don’t look in the mirror and find every flaw you believe it reflects.
Let it go, life will flow; heal your heart and free your soul.
What could you have done different?
Learn from it – then move on.
Not everyone around you sees what you do.
Your worst critic, wasting precious time.
Sometimes you have to close your eyes and open your mind;
Leave the ideals, rules and perceptions behind.
Take it a day at a time.
Don’t let your idiosyncrasies  make you blind.
You close the window of hope and bored it up when you give in to the lies.
Don’t be your worst enemy, know your beauty;
Stop the cycle and change your destiny.

A Million Revolutions Around The Sun

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We are millions, we are one
We are the revolutions of the sun
We are solar, we are sacred
We are the eclipse of human and nature
We are a spectrum of sonic light
We are the vigil you hold at night
We are the keepers of the flame
We hear your Spirit, we know your name
In the numbers, in the science, we are the congruent and fluid lines.
We are the abstract, we are the matrix,
We are the universal Angels.
You called us to guide you, we are beside you, trust the process.
In the sirens of your soul, we are the sound that keeps you whole.
In your metric scales of light, we ARE the music you hear at night.
We are the fractions, the infinite formulas of all attraction.
We are the motion and refraction of color, we are the magnets of the interstellar.
We are the thoughts that inspire your mind, we are the muses that clear your eyes.
Do what is right.
We call from Andromeda, we create the formula;
We are the everlasting waters.
You are the child of the cosmic align, with this purpose is an honest life.
Make the wrongs a right.
Or the silence we give you… will fall out of sight.
Stay true, it’s in you,
Change is the resonant tone of design.

The Storyteller

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In the silences she listens, her hands are her minstrels.
She weaves a moment from thread and stone, she builds a mystery with glass and hope.
She speaks of the ancients, elders and children.
No words are given, just creation’s mission.
Every braid of wool she starts, is a lifetime of blessings from her heart.
Little one, you are chosen, to spread the message of love and devotion.
Visions and travels beyond this dimension, bring peace and healing through the gifts you are given.
From a time of youth, you knew the truth, your world was painted and carved from wood.
You gave such glory to the winds, you held the fire and walked the lands.
For many moons and many suns, your hands made miracles from clay and mud.
For every stitch and every sew,  your breath is twine, your trust the rope.
You hold the gem of above and below.
Go little one, step forth on your path, show them the wisdom you learned from the past.
Capture the stars in the sparkle of glass.
You make the jewels of the heaven dwellers.
This is the medicine of the Story Teller.

Never Give Up (A prayer for all those who are lost)

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It might hurt like hell, every part of your soul is shattered.
Everything that once mattered, is now just a broken pattern.
Your whole life is bleeding.
No stone left unturned, every bridge is burned.
All those you love have gone, you scream in agony – why carry on.
Why are you even here?
The choice seems clear… disappear
Somehow, some way, you wake on the floor in the same spot you laid.
Another day.
How did you make it? You can’t believe your soul could take it.
Is this going to be the rest of your life?
Is the struggle worth it – to hang on to see the other side?
So you slip into auto pilot. Every moment becomes silent.
You go numb and blinded.
But deep inside it, there is this spark – you just can’t find it.
A reality check? You preach how life is not some secret.

Yet…

At night when you climb into bed, when your mind gives in.
There is a dream you cannot forget.
It seeps through your wakefulness, it hides within.
A smile sneaks from the corner of your heart when a child laughs.

What is this?

A reason, a moment, a gift.
Never give up, because one time, is all it takes,

You begin healing and feeling again.

LIVE for this.
One things is for sure, now is all we get.